Category Archives: Friends

I’m Overweight, So What!

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I’m Overweight, So What!

This week a friend of mine posted an article from Shine Yahoo, click here to read it.

This article speaks to me on so many levels. One level that is left out, for me anyways, is that I don’t have boyfriend, but her attitude & outlook is to the point.

i was a chubby kid. You can even see when it happened, between kindergarten & 1st grade. I was able to reach the cereal in the cabinets and make myself bowls of cereal late at night. Since my room was right next to the kitchen, 2 rooms away from my parents, who were in the living room, it was my little secret. Not so secret when you see the difference between my kindergarten picture, potentially a skinny cutie in the making if I say so myself. The chubby girl emerged in the 1st grade picture. Hard to really notice the beginnings of the double chin because I was scrunching my lips to hide the fact I’d lost my front teeth :-/

Ever since then I was the chubby girl. I was never able to wear the types clothes my girlfriends wore, ever since I was 6-7 years old. So this body image thing has always been prevalent. The only difference is that my girlfriends never made it a big deal. The only ones who made it a big deal were family & even then it wasn’t a constant issue.

True in elementary school I was keenly aware that I was overweight, but in a small school I was part of the popular kids, in a class of 15, that’s not very hard. I was accepted & felt no ostracizing. Until that fateful day in 7th grade, my best friend and I were talking to one of the troublemaker guys who was being kind of nice at the time. He asked my friend to describe me, while I was standing right there. She proceeded to round arms out to make her torso like a bubble & puff out her cheeks. Yea, I was devastated. It was later discerned that she was under the influence of another girl in our class whom I had always had issues with, we both fought for my bestie’s attention throughout elementary school. It still hurt, however to have my best friend knock me down like that.

High school, I was so not part of the popular groups, especially those first 2 years. THEY SUCKED!! Communal changing rooms, PE first period, kids who were way smarter than I was. I can praise the deity of my choice when I say that thankfully I didn’t develop acne issues until later on in life. But to my friends, the weight didn’t matter at all.

College, yeah well we know how good that goes over with college dudes, being overweight. Plus, I had adopted the observe, then engage mode when meeting new people, which many took for bitchiness. What can I say….I was taking it all in as to how others behaved & interacted with each other. I lived vicariously through my friends & their boyfriends, because that’s when relationships become more important. But yeah, no boys for Darnee in college.

You’d think I’d be damaged by that. Well, while in college is when I truly became okay with how I looked. I began working at Lane Bryant and I joined this group: Advocates for a Better Body Image (ABBI). It was a group of girls that wanted to help girls develop better body images & self esteem. I was also reading books by Emme, first real plus sized super model; Fat?So!, among others. It all came together. I no longer let my body rule/control my self esteem. During & after college I bought a ton of books, some of which I never got around to reading, but just being in my house they gave off the energy needed to let me let any issues I had with my body go.

The thoughts rear their heads a bit, but overall I can say I’m over it. Yes, I try diets, when I let the thoughts win, it would be so much nicer to be able to wear this or look like her. I never win, my will & stamina suck to be able to stick those things out long term. It is a lifestyle choice after all.

The last person I dated, was attracted to me, even said he liked plus size girls. However when he broke up with me he used the weight thing as a point of opposition. Last time I checked I was fat when we met, so I don’t know what he was thinking when he rationalized that one, but oh well.

I’ll continue on, I’m happy with myself as I am, I would like to be thinner, but I know that’s not going to happen, so I can’t let it get me down, then I’d be a basketcase about it all.

So people just need to get used to my voluptuously plump awesomeness!

One Year From Now

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One Year From Now. by Outside Air

Kind of sums up certain things I’ve been thinking about this year & how I want things in my life to change the next year.

Some resolutions Kari mentions in her post I’m adopting:

1. Bring my camera, not just the phone with me whenever I go anywhere.

2. Discipline over my body thing, I’m still the girl who worked her ass off to be okay with how I am physically. I’m still the girl who tried the Medifast diet early last summer & gave up 3 weeks into it, sigh….. I’m going to try & figure out some sort of balance between my love of food & being better at getting more physically active in the New Year.

3. I love the idea of going on small adventures. Doesn’t have to cost anything, but I want to take advantage of the area I live in & explore it.

4. Making time for people. I’d like to think I got better at this during 2012. Especially after my dad passed I made it a point to call my mom at least once a week. I made contact with my childhood friend again when she finally joined facebook. I’m going to be better at keeping communication up with all my family, friends (close & acquaintances).

5. Read more, I have a kindle, I need to read the books I already have on it & make room for new ones that I’ve made note of & haven’t made time for.

6. Improve my blogs. I’ve always had my personal one, but this year I began my professional one. I need to make more time in creating substantial blog posts, not just fleeting, fly by the seat of my pants entries on either blog.

7. Ooooohhhhh, financial discipline: this is a biggie. I need to do it, it’s not an option, I just need to bite the bullet & do it. I’ve seen a couple apps, online & mobile that could help in this arena, I just need to do it.

Here are the ones I’m adding:

8. Organized home. I’m going to try the 52 Week Challenge. Fingers crossed, it focuses on just one small area of the house each week to organize.

9. Build My Personal Relationship, this is still new for me, which I like, still getting to know this person better & how we work together. So that’s all I’m going to put out there for now.

10. Invest more time in becoming a better teacher. I got lucky last year. This year I’m still finding my way with my class with what works for one half & what doesn’t work. I’m committed to devoting my time to making sure these children leave me knowing that I gave them everything in my power to give them to be successful.

Here’s to a wonderful New Year

It’s Been Nothing But Work!

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I’ve done nothing but work the past week. I did take some respite early in the weekend and played pool with a friend. It’s been forever since I played. Like Delta Lion’s Club home playing with some of the LEOs in the upstairs room. Yeah, those of you who know me & read this will know how long ago that is.

I’ve also been challenged that I’m not sharing too much information about myself, hmmm. Makes me wonder when one is getting to know someone else, does anyone else tend to just sit back & take all they can in about the other person, therefore not sharing all that much about their own lives? How do you share your life story without making it boring & droll & interesting enough so the person doesn’t think you’re a total bore?

This has now become work too, how to be the best person you can for yourself & the person you’re getting to know. Can’t just rest on your laurels so to speak, you have to make your laurels work for you. Off now to work, which kind of work I’ll leave it to your imaginations.

My Most Memorable Birthday

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It’s only because I was not at home & doing the usual thing. It was Spring Break, my sophomore year in college. Some friends of mine and I drove up to Breckenridge, CO to ski, well they skied, I shopped & drank hot chocolate. My friend Jen’s parents had a house there where they graciously let us all crash for about a week. On my actual birthday Jen’s mom Sue took me for coffee & pastry at a local cafe, and then my friends made me birthday cake that night, which I believe was hidden in the microwave at one point. I seem to recall an argument over what we were going to watch that night, the girls wanted Grease 2 & all it’s glorious cheesiness, the boys not so much.

Since my birthday usually fell on Spring Break, I spent many birthdays by myself or just with family. Now that I live, well sort of alone, my birthdays have gone back to being mostly just me. Gotta work on improving that in the future.

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The Civil War

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Let me start this post by saying I was supposed to do a write up for Vive Les Arts Theater here in Killeen a few months ago. I wound up getting strep throat, then school started, etc…etc… So here’s my make-up for them ūüôā

All I can say is what a better way to spend a night during President’s Day weekend than going to see a local production of The Civil War.

I’m a history nut, thank you Dad, so when I got a case of the “boreds” Saturday night I decided to buy a ticket for the show. Just so happens I found out one of my co-workers was in the show. To my happy surprise my friend Beverly, whom I had called & left a voice-mail to see if she wanted to join me, was sitting in the lobby waiting to see the show when I arrived. We were able to get seats in the same row, whoohoo, yay for customer service!!

The synopsis on the Broadway Musicals site, linked above, says characters from the time period tell the story of the war in song. The VLA decided to give us only Abraham Lincoln, the other cast members were not given specific roles other than to convey thru song & words the impact the war had on those who lived at the time.

The show began with 2 numbers by The Men: Brother My Brother & By The Sword/Sons of Dixie. With old photos in rotation on 2 screens on either side of the stage, it set the tone for the show, reverence for a time we’ll never know. While the quality of the songs & those who sang them throughout the night my attention was grabbed by the following numbers.

First Missing You (My Bill) sung by Kathryn Quirk. Not only did she sing superbly sweet, but my inner tv geek was tapped here. For those of you who know of True Blood on HBO the main vamp character is named William “Bill” Compton and was turned when coming back from fighting in the Civil War.

My emotional side was triggered during Tell My Father. Mmm mmm, yeah the tears started to trickle here. The next 2 songs that got my blood flowing right there in the middle of the show: I Never Knew His Name & River Jordan. Tonya Miller sang the h*** out of I Never Knew His Name. Her clarity of voice was beautiful, one of the best songs that night. Charles Reid had everyone clapping like they were at church during River Jordan, a rousing gospel-like number. I dare say some stood for this, but I was sitting in front & Mr. Reid had my full attention so I couldn’t tell you for sure.

After intermission a playful tune Old Gray Coat by Bill Selby & The Men got everyone smiling. Paul Q-Pek sang Sarah. As I listened to him sing I closed my eyes for a few moments and could see in my head & hear Adam Pascal, who played Roger in RENT. Hmmm, could it happen here in Killeen, a production of RENT, one can dream can’t they. If they do I’ll be front row, no question.

The show ended with For The Glory. I gotta tell ya I just went & looked up the lyrics, reading over them makes me tear up again. The words ring so true especially living in a military town where it permeates our lives, so many of us take those everyday heroes walking amongst us for granted.

I see The Civil War as a reminder that greatness doesn’t come easy. As we remember the past it’s also a celebration of those leaders, great or not, whichever your opinion may be, the groundwork & paths they laid for us in hopes that we make the most & best of them.

“For the glory
For the men who’ve gone before
For the men who will come after
We will wage this bloody war
For the glory
For the truth we hold so dear
Let us give the last full measure
Gathered here …
For the glory!”

Beli’s NOLA Bachelorette Weekend

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I survived! I know¬†it sounds crazy that I’m ecstatic that I survived a weekend with my niece & her girlfriends, but I gotta tell ya, they wore me out. I’ve only just now recovered to the point where I can recount our story.

Jordan & I drove into to Marksville¬†to pick up Mom on Thursday evening. We left Friday morning, of course in the grand tradition of the good ‘ole¬†Wambsgans¬†Dist. Co., we were packing home grown¬†figs, wedding presents, old clothes for a cousin to borrow & can’t leave Marksville¬†without cracklins! The figs & clothes were some of Mom’s cousins since their fig tree just hasn’t been the same since Katrina & the clothes for a trip up north. The wedding presents, well duh, we were going to a wedding shower & the cracklins¬†for my brothers John & David who’d put in their orders days before. However, my nephew saw Jordan & I’s updates on facebook¬†& tried to get his order in unsuccessfully as we had already left Marksville. I told him to mooch off his dad’s bag.

Friday night we get in town & head over to Brenda & Emily’s office to “help/watch” them finish up with the decorations for the shower the next day. After gossiping & what not we head back to Brenda’s & get ready for dinner & such. Brenda & I get Greg to drive us down to the Quarter to meet everyone at Ralph & Kacoo’s. By this time, my schedule was all kinds of off & I had a headache & I was trying my best not to ruin it for the girls. Belicia¬†asked me to sit with her & her girlfriends, which I gotta tell ya, made me feel super, she included me with “the girls,” even in my old age, lol.

Silly me I thought all the bachelorette fun would take place on Saturday, but apparently I was wrong. Those girls had every intention of going out that night, which after the weekend was over, I was so glad I decided to go that night. We all headed out after getting gussied up. To start the night off right, the girls walked across from our hotel to the fire station that housed many of the stars of the NOFD Calendar. They were more than happy to take pictures with all the pretty ladies in our group. Mr. June even got in our full group shot.

After that we headed on down to Pat O’Brien’s. Unfortunately they are like the ID Gestapo, we couldn’t charm, flirt our way to get Jordan in. They were not having it at all, they even had bouncers checking IDs inside, crazy. I didn’t get my hurricane that night, but it was for a good cause. We then made our way to Cat’s Meow where our resident chanteuses¬†signed up for karaoke: Emily & Blair. Ninja signed up too, but by the time we had to wait for Em & Blair to sing, omg, it was practically over 2 hours. After many guys bought the girls drinks throughout our stint at Cat’s we made our way over to Tropical Isle for some hand grenades, which most of us didn’t ge to finish because even after our leisurely walk down Bourbon St with the girls trying to get beads, etc. the bouncers at The Beach made us chug/dump our drinks before we could go in.

Seeing as it was getting pretty late, for me anyways, and it had been¬† ages since I’d gone out like that drinking & dancing, I was ready to call it a night. Emily called her boyfriend Chris to come walk her back to the hotel. While we waited for Chris to arrive we watched some of the girls tame the wild animal at the front of the bar, the girls affectionately referred to him as “Willy.” Yep, it was a whale ūüôā

Got back to the hotel safe & sound. Almost passed out without changing, ick! Nasty Bourbon St”ness” on my clothes, not to mention the sweat accumulated on my clothes from the NOLA¬†humidity, nice right, I know ya’ll¬†are all jealous. Woke up in time to shower & walk to CC’s for a coffee & a yummy coffee cake(can’t remember the name of it though, hmmm). Brenda & the fam picked me up in front of the hotel so I could help them decorate the room at the Chartres Cafe where the shower was being held.

Okay the room was nice & snug before we got there, but once we got there & Brenda, Emily & Margarita worked their magic on that room, it was transformed¬†into Mardi Gras¬†Heaven for Beli’s¬†shower. It was beautiful, even the ad/pr lady¬†was so impressed with decorations they wanted to take pictures to send to their ad people for their brochures, etc. The food was delicious, the cake, from Haydel’s, was awesome. Everyone had a great time too, got to see & visit with relatives & friends we hadn’t seen in a long time, which is always good for the soul I gotta tell ya. Considering the recent family stuff goings on, it was nice to get that.

Saturday afternoon & night was kind of slow motion. Went & helped Brenda load/unload after the shower. Drove back to the hotel to play a game with the girls that Belicia¬†created, it was really creative & cute. Then we all just sat around & caught up with Chris & her friends & Johnny & Jeannie came by to hang out too. By this time all the girls were getting lucky dogs fro¬†dinner & heading out to one of NOLA’s¬†infamous Ghost Tours of the Quarter. Then after that they hit Borubon¬†again for some fun & more good times. We adults & a few kiddos ate at the restaurant next door, which was not good at all, yuck, Viola, don’t recommend it at all.

I passed on going out that night. But maybe I should’ve, that would’ve been less time spent in that musty, humid, damp¬†room. The sheets felt wet sometimes, they weren’t, but they felt like it. I truly believe that contributed to the sicknesses I came down with that hit me once I got back home. I had a tickly¬†throat which turned into probably strep, I know this cuz I’ve had three incidences of this in the past 3 years, the last 2 being within the last 3 months. Well the day I worshipped at the porcelain throne was the day I decided I had to make an appearance¬†at the Scott & White Clinic. Got another round of anitbiotics¬†& a steroid shot, sigh…I can win for losing here with the sickness. Today at the grocery store I picked up extra Vitamin C to supplement my regular vitamins. I gotta nip this in the bud before school starts so I’m not inclined to go the sickness rollar coaster again.

Speaking of school, that’ll be my next topic, be on the lookout ūüôā